New Post....

New job, new challenges, new achievements, new summer, new friends, new blessings, new struggles,new experiences, new encouragement, new conviction, new joys, new frustrations and new complcations.
Same God. I need that reminder.

 2 Timothy 2:11-13
Here is a trustworthy saying:
   If we died with him,
   we will also live with him;
 if we endure,
   we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
   he will also disown us;
 if we are faithless,
   he remains faithful,
   for he cannot disown himself.

Exodus 34:6-7
The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation."



Psalm 77:4-13
You hold my eyelids open;
   I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
I consider the days of old,
   the years long ago.
I said, "Let me remember my song in the night;
   let me meditate in my heart."
   Then my spirit made a diligent search:
"Will the Lord spurn forever,
   and never again be favorable?
Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
   Are his promises at an end for all time?
  Has God forgotten to be gracious?
    Has he in anger shut up his compassion?"
                         Selah
 Then I said, "I will appeal to this,
   to the years of the right hand of the Most High."
 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
   yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
   and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
    What god is great like our God?

Writers Block

I kept trying to write a new post. Half formulated thoughts would motivate me to start a post, but after half a dozen attempts I decided that this writing assignment from a class a couple years ago might be the best fit  ;-)


Writers Block? Funny you should mention IT. As a matter of fact I know IT well, too well. If I am with a paper and pen, or sitting at my laptop, fingers over the keys you can be sure that IT will soon appear. IT is small at first, roughly the size of a Chinese take-out box. However in the space of a moment IT expands. IT makes the room seem smaller, crowding out all thoughts, making you feel like your socks are too tight.

IT gives you a sick feeling in your stomach, how it feels before parachuting. IT looks over at you, lamenting your feeble attempts, pointing a blue finger at you. Yes, blue. If you look you'll notice that IT is blue, the blue that is almost black, somehow sadder than black, faded a tint, like socks that have been washed too often. Never uttering a sound, yet ITs large eyes stare so intently that you swear the criticism is audible. IT seems to be saying "You can't ! No matter how hard you try you can't!" Yet IT remains dark, and silent. “NO!” I cry but ITs oppressive nearness stifles my pleas.

IT tries to force me to stop writing. Begs me to abandon my pen. To fall ill with that mysteriously odious malady: to let myself be blocked. IT chokes out the light in the room, causing the page to fall dark. ITs incredible hugeness and weight press in around me, and I can scarcely breathe. ITs scent fills my nose. The smell of dirt. Not garden dirt, not the smell of dirt after a rain, or when it has been freshly dug. No, IT has the smell of dirty dirt. Like the corner of the basement that never gets swept or soccer cleats covered in mud from Saturdays game. The game where you got creamed, with a hundred plays that could have gone better. IT smells of staleness, of failure. And suddenly all words are gone. The cursor blinks. The page stays blank. My beautiful dreams for how it should turn out lay untouched, locked in my head, kept there by the pressure from IT.

As I write this now ITs blueness and cold dank smell are creeping up. But I am faster than IT. At least this time I am . I scribble down words as fast as I can. IT is leaving now, IT knows I am in control. I can’t give in. If I do its mocking look will be joined by looks from the page in front of me, begging to be written on. Truly the only way to make IT leave is to ignore IT. To fervently put words on the page. Any words. IT tries to gain control again, telling me that my words are far from being the best IT has read. Far from the best I have written. They aren’t just exactly how I meant them to be. Upon finding me in total agreement however IT slowly starts to shrink. I keep typing, keep streaming second rate words from head to hand. IT is small now, and with a final key stroke I send it scurrying off to afflict another. But never fear, I'll meet with IT again. My tormentor, oppressor, my motivator.

heart break generation

We are the heart break generation.
 In and out of love faster than you can shake a stick. Constantly bombarded with the need for "love" but unable to access love, or a working relationship, because many have never seen it.

Or because we are simply too young to be trying. Younger and younger we search for fulfillment in relationships, drugs, sex and alcohol. Now maybe this is nothing new, but to me it is heartbreaking.

Over 25% of my "contemporaries" were never born. Never given a chance to experience love. My heart breaks. I understand that God is in control, and that He has a divine plan of redemption. But my heart is still breaking...over and over.

From the little boy I work with who can't do well in school, simply because he is starting out behind. Or the countless girls who believe that their value lies in their appearance and whether or not they have a boyfriend. I sit in my classes and here again and again the hurt and depression that surrounds these people. I work with people with deeply painful pasts. Multiple marriages, rehab, and even current alcoholism.They seek joy every weekend with temporary highs of drunken partying, and one night stands. "The best night of my life, but  don;t remember half of it" is a common theme. Sorority's and fraternities aren't the issue. The problem isn't sex ed programs, or bars that don't ID. The problem is sin. SIN. We live in a world broken beyond understanding. But not beyond repair. GOD will make all things new. He changes hearts. He washes pure the most promiscuous of sinners, he cleans up the foulest of mouths. He restores broken relationships and heals broken hearts. Even mine as it breaks daily for my generation.