Border state

Fried Cornbread and fried chicken
As natural to me as rush hour traffic
With frequent "y'all s"
slipped into conversation.
Give me sunset on the monuments
Or coal laden mountains in the heart of our nation.
Forests and shopping malls
Framing the view, broadening my horizons.
Home and safety can be found in city blocks
Or a world where doors are never locked.
A southerner to those who choose to define
The difference in culture by the mason-Dixon line.
Though I feel home when down south, my northern accent gets a laugh
 caught between two worlds
But then again I'm half and half
City, suburb, southerner
Check all of the above
Labels over generalize
like a one size fits all glove
So I will try to summarize
The essence of my life
Country, and city meeting: Suburbanized.
I grew up with some of everything
But people grow to more than the sum of everything
--Colleen Craynon 2/13/12


Valentines day

Strange to say, but I am happy to be single this Valentines Day.
 No, I don't hate guys, nor am I determined to be an old maid. I really do want to get married, and I'd rather not wait 15 years either. But this year, I know I am supposed to be single.
How do I know? Well simply because I am single. I know that seems silly but hear me out. If I was living for my self, not following God, there is absolutely no reason I would stay single.
 But here I am. Your classic "loser" 21 years old, and staying home on Valentines Day. BUT I am so aware of Gods grace in that. He is writing my love story. He determines the who, what and yes the when. It is a struggle when the story doesn't start where I want it to, but if it did I would be missing out on something much better. So in a funny way, my current singleness is a reminder of God's grace in my life. He could have allowed me to pursue my desires, but he is keeping me. Saving me. He created me and destined me for a purpose. An awesome future waits for me, but an awesome now is here too! My future is secure in Christ, because I KNOW that he loves me. Even if I am single forever, or for 10 years, or even only 10 months, God has something beautiful planned for me. And yes, one day I hope to be that sickeningly sweet couple who make Valentines Day the silly, fun holiday that it is.

However I must say, these strawberries aren't hurting my contentment either ;-)


Cast your anxieties on the Lord...

Do you ever have this crazy nagging feeling inside that makes you want to write down anything and everything you think or feel? No? Oh.... Yeah me neither. That would be...weird.
Actually yes. I do. Somehow I feel like giving form to the words will help. Sometimes it does. When I see my thoughts and emotions in black and white they are less overwhelming. They are confined to the space of the page, no longer eating up all of my mind. But as much as writing helps, I forget the real way to rid my mind of fears. Prayer.
1 Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast our cares on the Lord. Because he CARES for us. Not simply because he is in control, or because he is the only one who is powerful enough to help. But because he cares. Wow. The one who has arranged the minute details of my life CARES when I feel alone. Cares when I am afraid and confused. And he listens, and carries me when my load is too heavy for me. Which is always. My endless supply of paper may help clear my mind, but ultimatly is powerless. Powerless to change my circumstance. Powerless to comfort me. Powerless to remove my anxieties. My God is powerful and loving. He bears my burdens and gives peace. If only I would take the time to humble myself to ask. To pray.

Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honour of a Christian.

—C.H. Spurgeon