blessings

 I take things for granted.WAY too much. 

Like being able to fall asleep right when I want to. 

Or at least shortly after I go to bed. I am not saying I have become an insomniac. But the past couple weeks I have had a harder time falling asleep. Whether this has been due to guests staying in my room with me (who I enjoyed having), or too much on the brain, or in tonight's case, one White Chocolate Mocha, almost 9 hours ago. 

 And when I am tested I am sad to say that my responses are not of "pure joy" when it is ME "facing trials of many{albeit minute and short lived} kinds."  No, instead of thinking how blessed I am to be ALIVE, I complain about my poor blistered feet. I forget to thank God for the beauty of HIS creation, and I mope because it is cold outside, when I am ready for spring. Rather than looking to God for His "ever present help in time of need", I whine about my course load, and the amount of studying I need to do, for the tests I don't want to take. And now, it is not nearly enough for me to have a beautiful home, and a comfortable bed, but I need to be able to sleep when I , Colleen, decide it is time. This is the battle that was going on in my head, well not much of a battle really, since it's pretty obvious what mind set was conquering.

But then a verse I have been trying to memorize came to mind.

 Psalm 3:5

 "I lie down and sleep;

I wake again because the LORD sustains me."

Isn't our God incredible? I'd like to say that it never ceases to amaze me, but sometimes it does. Sometimes I am not amazed. Sometimes I forget that God holds EVERYTHING together. The planet, the universe, and yes, even me. 

Thank you Lord, for sustaining me. Thank you for making me. for not punishing me in my ungratefulness, and pride. I get tired of fighting the same struggles against complaining, against my sin. I get frustrated, and quit trying. But when I am faithless to fight, when I am lazy, exhausted, in pain, and just plain sinful, You are faithful, working, renewing, forgiving, and HOLY. And you CALLED me! You LOVE me, and despite all my sin, my continued rebellion against You , You have promised to keep me from stumbling (see the book of Jude). Wow. 

Thank you.